Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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