I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just forgot I was standing up.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
