New invention idea: vibrating tampons
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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