i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
