Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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