why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
