what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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