Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
