jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
