Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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