Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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