i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He did a backflip because drugs
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