And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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