either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You smell like stripper and shame
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
