Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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