I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
