You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
