I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
