Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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