I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I need water and some morals
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
