it wasn't lemon gatorade
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It's like God shit irony all over that family
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
