well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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