your thong is hanging out like whoa
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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