dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
