I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
