Rock
Scissors
Fuck
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
