I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
