the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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