When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
