Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
