I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
