I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
