I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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