Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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