..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Ladies don't puke and tell
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
