we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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