Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
