I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize