I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
