talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
