you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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