Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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