is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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