i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
