everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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