Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
