she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
