drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
