In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize