I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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