Is it because I queefed?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
