So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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