"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
