Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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