2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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